Why Turn Away?

The sun is shining in this window of mine. The kids are singing while playing in circles around each other - I hear a random screech of annoyance, but other than that it's a peaceful morning. I've come to discover that most of my mornings are that way - peaceful. Even on those days where I might think I have it tough - I don't. I'm amazed at my spoiled American perspective sometimes. It's amazing that I can somehow convince myself that my life is lacking in any way at the end of any day. The only thing that could possibly be lacking is who I am in Christ and the person He wants me to be. The only thing that can be lacking in this life of mine - is me. Now, I don't mean that in a faux- humility kind of way. 


What I don't have doesn't dictate the amount of joy that lives in my hours and because of that my life is full of riches! At the end of the day the smiles and the laughter that come from a deep place of joy out weigh anything this world tries to offer me. He offers joy in those moments where happiness has lost its home in me. Joy has found a home in me; right beside the physical pain that I endure. His joy is nestled right beside the wounds of PTSD. The joy that comes in the morning is woven through my nights. Because of that there are moments I can hardly hold my head up - not because of shame or pain, but because of gratitude to the Maker and Giver of such joy. 


There have been moments in this life of mine, where that joy was almost overshadowed with fear. Moments where I thought my life was soon to meet its end on this earth. There have been seasons where I have had to write letters to my children and instructions to family just in case I didn't make it through that week. It's those moments that I have experienced that have shown me how brief our stay is here - how so incredibly precious time really can be. How precious the most subtle smile can be. Moments of great trials can often remind us of the sweet things or they can cause us to look inward at our selves and look away from the One who knows how to hold us best.


From the beginning of time, humans have tried to hide from the Lord in those moments right after pain, sin or uncertainty. We are often frightened by the woes around us and are convinced to hide from our Creator. Sometimes we allow anger to creep up and cause a river to grow between  us. The scenarios that often cause us to hide are endless. What's ironic is that the Lord loves us in those moments that we deny His love and He wants to use the very things that cause us to hide from Him. It's a sick to trick of this world to get us to turn from our Creator. He is our Hiding Place - He doesn't want us to hide from Him. He doesn't want any one of us to be distracted by the pleasures or the nightmares of this world when our joy can be made full in Him.


How many of us remain in hiding? Some of us hide behind insecurities. fears. flaws. sin. Some of us hide behind smiles. ministry. happiness. the hustle bustle of the day. I just want you to know that on this day I'm throwing down my mask and I am not going to hide the very thing the Lord wants to see in me. The very things He wants me to share with you. 


.Psalm 32