...a storm in the desert

My pain, it flickers, like a candle deep inside of a luminara on the verge of being blown out by the Albuquerque winds

Tonight, though, it feels as though the flame is so close to engulfing its paper surroundings. 

He whispers ever so gently. 

But my guilt attempts to engulf my mind like the May rain flooding the arroyos on the west side. 

I feel so weak when I'm suddenly surrounded by rushing thoughts like the murky water raging through the canals. 

He opens His hands. 

But my heart drops as pieces of my painful past come flashing into my mind - reminiscent of lightening striking in the sky above the mesa. The thunder rolls - so deep and loud - I can feel it vibrate in my chest. 

The echo causes me to jolt and my eyelids lift...

All of a sudden like a rainbow embellishing a gray smeared stormy sky - I feel His love grip my heart and cause my eyes to shift from my wounds and onto His truths.

How did my wounds became my focus - Why did my throbbing brokenness move me more than knowing that He has moved mountains for me.

My King knows my pain and He catches my tears. He knows the thoughts that attempt to taunt me -and knows of the chill that comes when the sun sets in this desert of mine. I am not alone in this sandy land.

Tonight, I am not engulfed by lies racing through my mind. 

No, tonight, I am revived by the Son who has risen in the middle of my desert storm. 

New Mexican luminarias

Lightening striking on the west mesa

A flooded arroyo

This blog comes from a real place inside of me. I know I often share of the Lord's joy being full in my life, and I am so sincere when I speak of such things. Truly, His joy is somehow nestled beside such deep wounds that still reside in me. I wanted to share of how deep my hurt goes and how sometimes I allow that hurt to drown out His loving attempts to comfort me. I know that there are people who can relate to moments like these and I would love for my hurt to somehow make you feel less isolated in those seasons where your heart feels so heavy and your mind feels smoggy. I can't say that I struggle with depression right now, but I know what that struggle feels like. If anyone needs prayer for just having the blues or for full on depression please feel free to email me for prayer at flynigh@gmail.com. 

You are not alone in those moments where it might feel like your heart could cave in and your thoughts won't stop racing. Your Maker is extending His hope to you - He loves you and He has not abandoned you. His love is brighter than your darkest hour - His strength is stronger than any burden that is weighing you down. Lift up your eyes. Your wounds may be deep, but try to set your gaze on the wounds He endured simply because He loves you. 

note: I was inspired to use descriptions native to New Mexico - I posted the pictures (that I did not take) to help people envision what I wrote.