I honestly never even thought about the state called "Nebraska" until that year; 2001. I moved there in late summer 2002 after meeting one of the Miller boys. At the time, I didn't think New Mexico had much to offer me and I didn't have much to offer NM. I had just become a Christian and I so badly wanted my life to change. I knew that me trying my life on my own just wasn't working anymore. Not only was it not working - but I was failing at life. I turned to God as my Navigator, and He was leading me to Cornhusker Land. I had no qualms about following.
Almost as soon as I arrived in South Sioux City we were on our way to church (youth group "24/7".) Oh, boy was that conservative Assemblies of God church in for a shock when I walked through their door. Yep, I was the one who decided to cut her hair to her chin, chop bangs, and die it penny red (which quickly evolved into penny orange). I had hot pink fishnet stockings on with clunky red mary jane's, jeans folded really high at the ankle, an MXPX shirt with a hot pink striped button-up underneath, oh and a couple of ribbons tied snugly around my neck. Not to mention, I was hand in hand with one of the most conservatively dressed guys in the church!
I could tell that no one knew what to think, much less, what to say to me. So, I just began introducing myself and one kid actually told me that he liked my stockings. For some reason, the awkwardness was short lived. I began to connect with the youth in ways I never expected. At first I was hesitant, because I didn't know what the church would think of me once they heard about my past. I feared what parents would think of someone like me trying to hang out with their kids. Man, I felt so insecure and felt like I didn't belong. And, yet that's exactly where I belonged - that's where my life would be changed forever and where I would gain a family.
I decided to just be open about who I was as questions would come up. I had nothing to hide - the Lord already knew everything about me and loved me the same. I was forgiven for all the muck in my past and now it was time for me to just be okay with the Lord using it as He saw fit.
Even at this very moment, eight years later, I am moved by all that the Lord did in the short two years I was in NE. I am amazed at the way He connected the most unlikely people to my heart forever. I am in awe that He used the most humiliating parts of my past to help the youth. And, through that, freed me in ways I never knew were possible. He taught me so very much while I was there and most of all He rooted me in Him. He used the people in that little ol' church to change me and to love me. I could literally go on and on about my two years that seemed like a lifetime while I was in Nebraska - it was a season of my life I wish truly cherish forever. A season that is so apart of who I am today.
The Lord knows where He wants us and when He wants us there. Sometimes, it's the most unlikely place and the most inconvenient time. But, it's true - that He knows what is best for us. Learning to trust that can be so difficult. But, Who knew, that Nebraska was what was best for me? He did.
Anyone need prayer? Email me! :)
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